


life in roses

by DONGPYOWO



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, I made this randomly a year ago, Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, M/M, Mark Lee is a kid, forgive me for how badly written it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DONGPYOWO/pseuds/DONGPYOWO
Summary: “taeyong used to play the ukulele,” jaehyun started. “the song i was playing, la vie en rose, was his favorite song. the only song i know to play. he wanted you to learn it too.” minhyung looked at the ukulele, then to his fingers. “why was it his favorite?” mark asked. jaehyun shrugged.“i don’t know either,” jaehyun only shook his head and smiled at the memory of taeyong struggling to sing the french verses. “your father wasn’t a singer, but his version of la vie en rose will always be my favorite. no matter how many times i’d come home to him singing this, it will always stay as my favorite.” jaehyun stops to think. mark only waits patiently.





	life in roses

**Author's Note:**

> it’s not that great, and i just needed to write something to relieve some stress a couple of months ago. 
> 
> i haven’t published anything in a long time so i thought i’d just publish this.

“hold me close and hold me fast,” the strum of the ukulele and the light hum is heard as jaehyun looks at the young child sat in front of him in awe. he wasn’t a ukulele player, far from it actually. the song his fingers itched to play being the only song he knew to play correctly without stop. he smiled at the child and softly sang the lyrics.

 

 

“this magic spell you cast,” his playing started to get quieter, drawn out as he started to stare at the instrument in his hands. he looked over to his child staring curiously, wondering why jaehyun had stopped playing. jaehyun let himself strum softly in a pattern of g major, c major, then a major. he sighed. “do you want to know how i met your father?” he asked softly. the nine year old lit up, ecstatic. he always wondered about the man in the pictures and jaehyun would only say it was a friend, until recently he confessed that it was his father.

 

 

“it’s not an easy story, mark,” jaehyun says. “but i think you’re old enough right?” he asks playfully. the younger nodded quickly, wanting to hear the story of his other father; where he had gone and why he was only a picture. “what was his name?” mark asked first, not wanting to start off the story without knowing his name. jaehyun’s strumming became lazy. his eyes fell upon nothing, as though trying to remember his husband’s(?) name.

 

 

“taeyong,” jaehyun says breathlessly. “lee taeyong.” the name rolls off the man’s tongue and somewhere in the room, swept up like the old dust jaehyun would clean from the old bookshelf, kept with memories and different scrapbooks. “was he a good person?” mark asks, stars filled his eyes as he tried to create scenario after scenario of what a second parental figure would’ve been like.

 

 

“he was the best,” jaehyun would say, stopping his lazy strum on the small instrument. “and that’s how we got here.” jaehyun said with a distant look. he looked at his son and stood from his chair, ukulele in hand. “why don’t we take you to bed? you must be tired sitting here.” he held out his palm and waited for his child to grasp it with his own tiny hands. they walked towards mark’s room.

 

 

“does he love me?” minhyung asks once again, almost to the door of his room. jaehyun’s breath hitched as he nodded. “he loved you so much, and he still does now.” jaehyun says, opening the door to mark’s room, the space filled with a bed too big for a seven year old. they walked toward the mattress and mark ran to his bed. he pat the space next to him for his father. jaehyun smiled warmly and joined his child. he settled in, blanket covering the both of them, ukulele on his lap.

 

 

mark seemed to think of something, his eyebrows furrowing. “if he loves me, then why isn’t he here?” mark asked. the boy didn’t meant harm, it was an honest question; a question anyone would ask if they had never known their parent. a parent who apparently loves them. jaehyun pauses, searching for an answer suitable for a kid at a young age. “that’s why i’m here to tell you.” he says softly, eyes darting anywhere in the room to find a way to even start the story.

 

 

“your father...he was—he always will be,” jaehyun corrects himself quickly. “a man of his own. he wasn’t like anyone else, no one stood out like your father does. every imperfection he had was perfect. he’d always argue with me but i would always say he’d be the light in a dark room.” jaehyun said. he looks at the glow up stars on the ceiling, mark looks up too.

 

 

“your father had always believed you’d be the brightest star there was,” he whispered solemnly. mark smiles brightly. “everything he had ever worked for was all just for you. he wanted you to be happy.” jaehyun said. he looks down at the ukulele and grasped it in his hands, softly picking at the strings.

 

 

“taeyong used to play the ukulele,” jaehyun started. “the song i was playing, la vie en rose, was his favorite song. the only song i know how to play. he wanted you to learn it too.” minhyung looked at the ukulele, then to his fingers. “why’s it his favorite?” mark asked. jaehyun shrugged.

 

 

“i don’t know either,” jaehyun only shook his head and smiled at the memory of taeyong struggling to sing the french verses. “your father wasn’t a singer, but his version of la vie en rose will always be my favorite. no matter how many times i’d come home to him singing this, it will always stay as my favorite.” jaehyun stops to think. mark only waits patiently.

 

 

“he wanted to show you his version of it too,” he remembers how taeyong would carefully tune the ukulele, rambling about how once mark was born and officially part of their family, he’d teach him to play. “once we heard you would be born soon, your father was the happiest man alive. he always complained about how he couldn’t wait a couple more months.” jaehyun only remembers how he was reluctant about a child, a child he’d care for with taeyong.

 

 

“we waited for you a long time,” jaehyun can only think about the way taeyong’s excitement was still ongoing, though he could see the physical toll it took on him. “i got impatient i guess.” jaehyun whispers to himself. he counts night after night where he’d lie awake in bed thinking whether or not he wanted this, wanted a family. he can count every eyelash the man he slept with had, taeyong had more than the other man did every time.

 

 

he doesn’t remember who he had ran to every night, he doesn’t want to remember who he had went to selfishly.

 

 

“your father was my opposite, that’s probably why i fell for him in the end,” he said once he felt mark shift next to him. “he was so many people at once but i knew every one of them. i knew he’d only hold his head up high out of reassurance and not courage. he was scared of a lot of things. he had such a childish personality but when it came to having you he understood. he wasn’t scared, he was ready. i wasn’t.” the last part is barely heard, a crack in his voice covering it up.

 

 

“he was only certain about three things. himself, me, and you. he let everything else happen. i asked him what he’d change from his past he’d say nothing, he’d say there would be no other way to make it better than it already was.” mark looked up at the stars on the ceiling again, taking all the information in. he wondered what kind of wisdom his father would whisper to him every night. how he’d push strands of hair away from his eyes to see clearly, what his ambitions and dreams would turn out to be if his other father would be there for his future teenage years.

 

 

“if anyone were to ask me though,” jaehyun says. “what i would change, i’d answer in a heartbeat. do you want to know what i’d change?” jaehyun asks his son who nodded slowly.

 

 

“everything that led to your father leaving.” jaehyun drawled out. his eyes started to glisten as he took in every mistake he had made. starting from the day he had met the stranger, when he stormed out of the house after arguing with taeyong because he was so stressed. the day he barged into an open cafe, the only worker being the man who sat next to him and gave him a cup of hot chocolate. the man who listened to jaehyun rant and said he’d be there waiting if he needed anything else.

 

 

jaehyun kept coming back. an innocent friendship becoming something more in the end. jaehyun wasn’t ready for the life being a parent would give him, this is what he wanted; to be free. nights and days where they’d hold hands and talk for hours. maybe jaehyun should’ve realized that the problem was his temper, not taeyong’s soft words that tried to calm him down. not his husband who had given him exactly what the worker did, but jaehyun never wanted what it would come with.

 

 

he looked over to mark who looked down at his lap; jaehyun wondered if mark understood the weight of his father’s words, what it all meant. “your dad would forgive no matter what,” jaehyun said. “he’d find a way to forgive and forget, even if it killed him.” he gulps down his words and clasps his hands in his own.

 

 

“that’s why your father left,” jaehyun whispered. “because he forgave.”the room was silent once more and mark knew, he understood the story his father had told him. he was mature for his age, too mature. he looked over to his father and laid his head against his side.

 

 

“because he knew he still loved you,” is what a nine year old mark had said to his crumbling father. “and that you still loved him.” that’s all it took for jaehyun to wrap his arm around his son, holding him close as he let stray tears fall. apologizing to taeyong and to his son of course. apologizing because mark would never know what a second parent would be like, apologizing to taeyong who, in the end, never got to hold mark in his arms.

 

 

“can you keep singing?” mark asked when jaehyun had started to calm down, rubbing a comforting hand on his son’s arm. jaehyun looked at the ukulele and unwrapped his arm from around minhyung’s shoulder and took the instrument in his hands. he strummed.

 

 

‘this is la vie en rose,” jaehyun sang, picking up on where he had left off when they were in the living room. he could just picture taeyong sitting there, his own ukulele in his hands as he stared at mark lovingly.

 

 

‘when you kiss me heaven sighs,’ he wants to know if he’s being the father he should be. when taeyong had been hospitalized, near his last breath, jaehyun was scared. mark was almost their kid, he was going to be part of their family, but taeyong’s time would run out before he got to see him. jaehyun had made sure he didn’t visit taeyong, spending his time with the man he hasn’t contacted in years now. jaehyun wonders if taeyong’s laughing at how badly he’s taking care of mark.

 

 

“and though i close my eyes,” when taeyong was minutes away from his last breath, jaehyun had finally came rushing through the door. taking in how bad taeyong had looked. the last time jaehyun saw taeyong, he could’ve swore the man was healthy. jaehyun doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen taeyong before his death. he remembers rushing to his husband’s side, holding his hand in both of his as he stared desperately at his husband. they don’t talk, just stare. taeyong smiles at jaehyun, weakly holding on.

 

 

“this is la vie en rose,” jaehyun sings finally, not able to go through the rest of the song. in the back of his mind, he can hear taeyong’s weak voice struggling to sing the final verse as his last words. he doesn’t stop thinking about the way taeyong’s voice was barely audible, only for jaehyun to hear. he goes quiet.

 

 

“those were your father’s last words,” jaehyun says. “la vie en rose.” and repeats.

 

 

“la vie en rose.” minhyung whispers, a wisp of wind flowing through them. they smile.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
